My name is Erica Ryken and I am the mother of a child who is suffering from a disorder known as Pediatric Dysphagia. This is a swallowing disorder that he has has since he was just a few months old, or this is when he was diagnosed anyways. In the beginning, I wasn’t even clear of what Pediatric Dysphagia really was. We had went to see Dr. Shakman, our son’s pediatrician, and we were then referred to a Speech Language Pathologist, Whitney Hicks. I asked her what Pediatric Dysphagia was and asked her to explain to me what exactly is was, without being too medically technical, and what problems it could cause initially so we could understand why everyone was so concerned about it. The following in an exerpt from the conversation we had with her about this disorder:
Podcast:
Swallowing is a function that involves transporting food material from the oral cavity to the stomach, hopefully, keeping it out of the airway. For this reflex to be successful, it requires high functioning coordination between the Central Nervous System, Peripheral Nervous System, muscles of the oral cavity, pharynx, and esophogus. For an infant, this process is when they ingest food and send it down the esophogus to the stomach. However, this can be problematic for some infants and even young children. This disorder of swallowing is known as Pediatric Dysphagia (Kennedy & Kent, 1985). Dysphagia is a disorder that others describe as feeling as food is getting “stuck” or does not go down easily when eating. Dysphagia is an impaired swallowing disorder and it is a problem with the normal muscular reflexes of sucking, swallowing, and even breating. All of these problems each seperate or together, can reduce a child’s willingness or ability to eat normally. This disorder can be seen as acute or chronic (Tuchman, 1989). It causes infants at times to be seen as “failure to thrive”. Failure to Thrive is a clinical label that is given to children who are normally under three years of age. These children are those who fail to grow as expected based on established standards for age and gender. Pediatric patients are watched very closely for being labeled as “failure to thrive” as it can cause undernutrition. This is very problematic as it can cause vast social and medical developmental difficulties (Kessler, Dawson, 1999). Pediatric undernutrition can cause problems with immunity, academic performance later in life, cognitive delay, and lessened physical activity (Skuse, Abanese, Stanhope, Gilmore, Voss, 1996).
Kennedy, J.G. & Kent, R.D. (1985). Anatomy and physiology of deglutation and related functions. Seminars in Speech
and Language, 6, 257-273.
Kessler, D. B., & Dawson, P. (Eds.). (1999). Failure to Thrive and Pediatric Undernutrition. Paul H Brookes Publishing Co.
Skuse, D., Albanese A., Stanhope, R., Gilmore, J., & Voss, L. (1996). A new stress-related syndrome of growth failure and
hyperphagia in children, associated with reversibility of growth-hormone insufficiency. The Lancet, 348, 353-
358.
This genre is written in the voice of a speech-language pathologist written to inform the parents about their infant’s swalling disorder called pediatric dysphasia. In this genre, you describe the function of swallowing and how it can be problematic, especially for an infant child. I “bless” the idea you chose for this podcast. I think it will be effective to the reader to know that this useful information about swallowing & dysphasia was given directly from a clinician to a parent in conversation. I think that this allows the reader to see the problem in a natural context, which will help them to engage in your story & your “client”. One thing to address is maybe to try typing your references in Microsoft word, copy & paste to Writely, & then copy & paste into WordPress. That is the only way I have got it to work! There is also an “exception” that Mrs. McComas told me to find, but I have not figured that out! Good luck, if you need help with your sources, maybe I could try & help you.
The voice of the piece is from the speech and language pathologist. The audience is the parent of the child with pediatric dysphasia. The podcast explains swallowing and dysphasia in general. The podcast also explains how infants with this disorder can have severe problems. They discuss how developmental problems exist as well. I would like to bless the amount of information in the podcast. I would like to address the idea that the podcast is supposed to be a conversation, but is very formal. I like the format though. I think that you did a great job!
[...] Quote three specific pieces of feedback (not the whole responses, just parts of a response) that you received on your work that were particularly helpful to you in revising (not editing, revising the content). Include links to these comments. 1. “I think there are still a lot of words in this that a person, such as the family of a patient, might not understand.” 2. ” I think you could give an example to help illustrate the behavior.” 3. “I may have trouble visualizing the true problem if I did not know the disorder” Quote three specific pieces of feedback (not the whole responses, just parts of responses) that you gave to someone else that you believe were most likely helpful to them in revising their own work. Include links to these comments. 1. “I would like to address the lack of statistical evidence.” 2. “is supposed to be a conversation, but is very formal” 3. “I feel that the technical process overpowered the emotion that the mother feels.” Examine your examples for the first two items above and write about what this information tells you about the kind of peer responses you give. [...]
I follow your posts for quite a long time and must tell that your articles are always valuable to readers.